Every day we ask our family and friends how they are and if they are doing ok. We do it so much that we don’t even realise it. We don’t expect deep meaningful replies - we expect efficient replies, short quick responses that don’t really go into too much detail. On the reverse side of this, we do the same thing in response. When someone asks us if we're ok, our usual response is: 'Yeah, good thanks! How are you?' We play along with the quick game, seldom actually really saying how we feel.
Anyone who meets me knows that I do not struggle to speak my mind, to tell people that something is or isn’t right and whether I agree or disagree with something. However, talking about whether I’m 'doing okay' is a whole other story. There is a stigma out there, not only in our industry but in the world, which means that people do not like to - or feel like they can’t - talk about their mental wellbeing. Conversations around mental health have started to be brought out into the open rather being a secret. But that has also started to bring along the stigma of admitting to struggling with mental health.
'Snowflake generation', 'attention seeking', 'don’t even know what a hard time is' – all too often comments posted on social media, via the mouths of leading figures, on news forums, and by many people in society. How do we expect anyone to reach out properly if they are being told their problems aren’t real?
Mental health and wellbeing in the workplace are huge subjects - there are so many different paths we can go down and struggles we can look at. From my understanding and experience of helping myself and colleagues, I have categorised it as four main tenets of ‘struggle subjects’.
I call it 'understanding when somebody has had their fill'. Using these four tenets has helped me realise where I am in my own journey, and how I can be proactive in ensuring those around me are in an environment that only seeks to help them have mental health wellbeing.
Understanding when somebody has had their FILL
Fight – Everybody has their own fight, their own struggle. Although we may not understand what someone else’s struggle is, understanding that someone is fighting a battle is central to maintaining a healthy work environment.
Identity – At times in our lives we have all struggled with our identity. Am I the person I’m supposed to be? Am I the person I want to be? Am I me? Losing and trying to re-find your sense of self is a taxing journey, and it is important that we - as family, friends and colleagues - can help facilitate that journey to whatever degree we are asked to.
Loss – Loss can come in a manner of different forms - loss of a person in our lives, loss of belief, loss of direction and, again, a loss of self. Helping people grieve different losses is one of the hardest managerial roles that a person can have, but having access to training, information and guidance on how you, a friend or colleague, can help will allow you to offer support in the hardest times.
Liability – An unspoken part of many people’s struggles, but very much a real part of work-related mental health wellbeing. The struggle a person faces with the sense of responsibility for those around them. Although a level of responsibility may not be written in their job description, it does not mean they do not have it, nor does it mean that they don’t feel responsible.
There has been a big movement in understanding workplace-related mental health issues and, amazingly, there has been some work done. I have seen a rise in health assurance programmes being offered to members of staff, I have seen hundreds of people being made mental health first aiders, I have seen new policies, and more training offered, but it's not enough. Until we humanise the mental health wellbeing movement in the industry, by normalising conversation, the industry - in fact, the world - will not see changes.
Dare to ask those three scary words. Ask if everything is okay, offer health assurance schemes, offer mental health first aid training and try to notice when someone has had their fill. The actions you take today could stop the needless actions of someone else tomorrow.
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About the contributor
Kelsey Hargreaves
Assistant Technical Specialist
BICSc